Notes on The Complete Husband by Lou Priolo chapter 2: Back to School for the Rest of My Life!

 

“You must learn about your wife’s needs, her wants, her interests, her goals, her dreams, her joys, her sorrows, her fears, her problems, her thought processes, her desires, her feelings, her spiritual gifts and her temptations to sin.”

“To live with your wife in an ‘understanding’ way (according to knowledge–KJV) means that you must become a lifetime student of your wife. You’ll have to study and research your wife much the same way a salesman might study a prospective customer- except to a much greater and more intimate degree. You’ll have to learn how to ask specific questions that will get you the precise information for which you’re looking. You’ll have to learn to be attentive to her. You should learn to perceive what it is that pleases her if she happens not to mention it specifically- a service that your wife, by nature, probably provides quite adeptly for you. You should also study the various tones of her voice as well as her particular non verbal forms of communication so you know when it’s time to ask the appropriate understanding and fine tuning kind of questions.” 

“The first thing you must realize is, that there are some significant differences between men and women. Biologically, for example, every cell in your body differs slightly from the cells in your female counterpart. Your cells contain a set of x and y chromosomes,  while your wife’s cells possess a pair of xx chromosomes. It’s the distinct combination of these chromosomes which genetically determines the other feminine and masculine physiological differences between the sexes.”

“These inherent physiological differences between men and women demonstrate how the Creator and Sustainer of the universe designed a man and a woman to complement one another. However, the gender differences between you and your wife go well beyond anatomy. Another, perhaps even more important, area of understanding with which you must acquaint yourself is the biblical roles and responsibilities given by God to the woman. As you study these specific functions of the Christian woman, you will gain new insight and understanding into the feminine nature of your woman in particular. Understanding the extent to which God has given different duties to your wife that He has to you will help you appreciate the nuances of difference between masculinity and femininity.”

“Perhaps the best starting point is to learn how to ask the right questions. It’s been said that questions are to communication as food is to eating.”

Suggested Questions to Build Intimacy

1. If you could change three things about me that would make me more Christ like, what would you change? This one question will likely generate hours of conversation. By focusing first on your own weaknesses and taking the beam out of your own eye, you’ll not only demonstrate humility, but also make it easier for your wife to reveal herself to you later on.”
2. Do I have any other annoying mannerisms or irritating idiosyncrasies that you would like to see me change? In addition to pointing out those character deficiencies that the Bible says you must change, your wife also may have some suggestions for you to consider concerning other issues. There are probably certain other annoying personal mannerisms and habits you’ve developed, that, although not necessarily sinful, tend to irritate her.”
3. How does it make you feel when I…(name something that you know displeases her)? Once you’ve discovered exactly what it is that she wants you to change, you can begin encouraging her to reveal herself to you. I suggest you begin by asking about her feelings. We men tend not to place as much emphasis on the emotions that God has given us ad do our wives.
4. What goes though your mind when I…(name something that you know displeases her)? Having first asked her to reveal her emotions to you, you’re now ready to inquire about her thoughts. Encourage her to be totally candid and frank with you. Ask her to give you a verbatim account of her thought. You should again be looking to see the impact that your behavior has had on your wife. As her spiritual leader, you ought to be concerned about any sinful thought patterns she reveals to you in this process.”
5. What do you want from me that I’m not giving you at the moment I….(name something that you know displeases her)? this question goes beyond feelings and thoughts and helps you obtain information about her motives. The Bible has much to say about our motives. 
6. What specifically would you like to see me do to change in this area (name something that you know displeases her)? In most cases, your wife will have already thought through some specific changes she’d like to see you implement. In fact, it’s likely that she has already made these suggestions in various ways to you in the past.
7. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate our marriage? This question is designed to give you some idea of how well you’re doing at fulfilling your responsibilities as a husband. It may also indicate how content your wife is with you.”
8. What would it take to make our marriage a ten? Once again you should encourage your wife to be as specific as possible. Again you ought not to ask this question if you’re not serious about implementing her ideas. Be sure to ask her how she believes each suggestion will benefit the marriage if it’s not extremely apparent to you.
9. What is your opinion about…? It’s a little question but it’s loaded. 
10. What personal goals do you have for your life? How many I help you achieve them?
11. Do you have any needs or desires that you believe I ought to be meeting or fulfilling better than I do? What are they? Do you know the difference between a need and a desire? You should. Today’s Christian literature is filled with references to man’s and woman’s needs. Be careful! There aren’t nearly as many truly biblical needs as many Christian authors suppose.

“These eleven questions should help get you started. Remember, this is only a suggested list. Some of the questions should serve to get you started in developing your own personalized catalog of questions to ask your wife. You’ll need to add to the list until you become proficient as asking questions that produce intimacy building communication. After you read each chapter of this book, why not take a few moments to develop your own additional questions and add them to your own list?

Notes on The Complete Husband by Lou Priolo chapter 1: I Wish She Came with an Owner’s Manual

 

“Allow me to let you in on a little known secret: Your wife does come with an owner’s manual. The reason you’ve never seen it is because it’s tucked away in her heart. Deep down in her heart is all the personal information you need to understand and nurture your wife according to the Bible. There’s just one catch: You’re the one who’s supposed to get it out of her. That’s right, it’s your job to get the valuable information out of her heart and, if necessary, transpose it onto a hard copy.”

The question every husband has been asking has finally been answered. Don’t feel bad if you have every asked this question because I have asked the same question. In life we often want the easy way to solve a problem, therefore wanting a owner’s manual to solve it. If we just take the time to pay attention to our wives and listen to them, we can learn all of the answers we need. And again, don’t feel bad because I have felt the same way. 

“First Peter, Chapter Three- I love that chapter! Isn’t that the chapter that tells women to keep quiet? Well, yes, but I’m not referring to those verses (verse 1 & 2). I want to talk to you about verse seven: “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of live, so that your prayers may not be hindered” 1 Peter. 3:7. The Bible places the burden of understanding on you as the husband. You’re the one who must take the initiative to draw out of your wife the information necessary to develop and maintain the one flesh intimacy God intends you to have with her. Elisabeth Elliot, in her boo The Mark of a Man, explains this concept of the man as the initiator: 

The important thing for you, as a man to remember….is that a woman cannot properly be the responder unless the man is properly the initiator. He must take the lead in order that she may follow, as in a dance. The willingness of each to perform the ‘steps’ that have been choreographed gives the other freedom.

All right! Fine! You’ve convinced me! So, it’s my job to understand her. But how do I get this information, this owner’s manual, out of her heart? Well, to begin with, you’ll need to understand both the biblical view of marriage and the importance of communication in marriage.”

“Many believe that the propagation of the human race is the purpose of marriage. But marriage was designed by God to deal with the issue of loneliness:

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. (Gen. 2:18)”

 

Hindrances to Revelation

1. Fear

Perhaps the greatest hindrance to revelation is fear. 

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, ‘Where are you?’ And he said, ‘I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself (Gen. 3:7-10)

Adam and Eve were stricken with fear and hid themselves from God when they realized their won nakedness. So also, husbands and wives are often stricken with fear and hide their true selves from each other when they realize the sinfulness of their own hearts.”

2. Selfishness

There’s a very real corollary in the Bible between sinful fear and selfishness. People who are selfish tend to be fearful. People who are fearful are necessarily selfish. Perhaps the best way to demonstrate this by studying the antitheses of both sins. According to the Scriptures, the opposite of sinful fear is love: ‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love’ (1 Jn. 4:18)” 

“When you allow the fear of your wife’s rejection to keep you from loving her by not revealing to her what is biblically necessary for her to know about you, you’re being selfish. You are, at that moment, more concerned about how it may help your wife. When you fail to love your wife in this way, you simultaneously fail to love God, and you thus break the first and second greatest commandments (to love God and your neighbor. Matt. 22:35-40)”

3. Pride

The sin of pride carries with it God’s swiftest and most severe judgment. It blinds you to other sins in your life and hinders you from repenting of them. Pride is the ‘Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome’ (AIDS) of the soul. When a person dies as a result of acquiring AIDS, he does not really die of AIDS. Rather, he dies of an AIDS-complicated illness (pneumonia, tuberculosis, meningitis, etc.) Not unlike a cataract, the AIDS virus somehow blinds the eyes of its victim’s bodily defense system. This prevents his auto immune system from seeing and consequently destroying those deadly viruses and bacteria that ultimately kill him.”

4. Laziness

If you’re going to take God’s commands to you as a husband seriously, you’ll need to invest a considerable amount of time, effort and thought in studying and implementing the specific Scripture passages which I have tried to delineate in this book.”

5. Ignorance

Have you ever stopped to consider that man was dependent upon God for counsel even before he fell into sin? Adam needed God’s wisdom even in the Garden of Eden when he was still in his unfallen state.”

“First, you may not realize that the Scriptures direct you to understand your wife. 1 Peter 3:7 is not a hint, a recommendation or a suggestion. It’s a command. In other words, you must learn how to understand your wife! Second, you may not understand the power of God. Whenever you see a biblical command which seems almost impossible to obey, you should remember that God never asks a Christian to obey Him without providing three powerful resources. 

• God promises to give you the wisdom to obey him: But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him (Jas. 1:5) If you don’t know how to obey, ask God to teach you. This promise is first because it’s usually necessary to know how to obey God before you are able to do so.
• God promises to give you the ability to change: It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:13) As you step out in faith to obey what god has directed you to do in His word, He provides the enabling power necessary to do that the doer of the Word would be “Blessed in the process of doing” (Jas. 1:25)
• God promises to give you the desire to change: It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:13) It’s after you’ve obeyed that directive (which you’ve learned how to do) that you will likely experience the desire to walk in obedience to Scripture. 

All three of these promises are made only to Christians, who, in dependence upon God’s Spirit and in conjunction with His Word, receive and implement them. As you continue reading this book, you’ll learn how you can better understand your wife and how you can better fulfill your biblical responsibilities to her.”

 

 

Notes on The Truth about Same Sex Marriage by Edwin W. Lutzer chapter 6: We Must Seek God

 

 

“The late Francis Schaeffer told us that someday we would wake up and find out the America we once knew was gone. That day is here.”

The last part of this quote says it all.

“You can’t fight a spiritual being (Satan) with physical weapons! Physical battles are fought with physical weapons, spiritual battles with spiritual weapons.”

 

“When we refuse to repent of our own sins, God might refuse to come to our aid and let us be defeated. This is why we must turn to Him as families, as churches, and as individuals. Without repentance for our own sins, we cannot expect to win our cultural wars. I believe very deeply that only God can save us now.”

I truly believe that God is the only person who can save us now. The hole we have dug for ourselves is so deep that you cannot even see where we started digging.

“Ours is a battle that cannot be won by reason, scientific data, or dialogue. The radical homosexual movement that preaches tolerance will not itself tolerate alternate opinions. Everyone must move in lockstep with their agenda- or pay a price.”

“Please understand that God does not owe us such a deliverance. No nation has turned away from so much light in order to choose darkness. No nation has squandered as many opportunities as we have. We can only call on God for mercy, and if it please Him, He will come to our aid. We certainly cannot expect a revival simply because we don not want to face the harassment that well might come to us all. But if we humble ourselves, weeping for this nation, God may yet intervene and restore decency to this crazed world. Most of all, we should pray that millions would be converted and belong to God forever. People change their minds only when God changes their hearts. If we cannot weep before God, we are probably not fit to fight before men. Only He can save us now.”

Notes on The Truth about Same-Sex Marriage by Edwin W. Lutzer Chapter 5: We Must Act Now

 

“State by state, we are slowly losing the battle to prevent same sex marriages. There is little doubt that today’s culture, opinion polls notwithstanding, is willing to “live and let live” without any concern about the wider implications. In the midst of this, we must recover the notion of the church as a force for renewal rather than simply the agent of bitter confrontation. We must fight the war of values without compromising the only message that can change the hearts of men. If not, we are offering a temporary solution to what is in fact an eternal problem.”

“After the 1925 Scopes trial, Christian fundamentalism retreated from meaningful involvement in our culture. The fundamentalist modernist controversies made true believers withdraw, causing a separation between faith and the values of society. This vacuum created a popular moral and spiritual climate where values could be freely rewritten to conform to the irreligious spirit of the age. Christianity was still respected but also largely ignored. Christians formed a subculture that remained hidden to all except those who took the time to seek it out.”

The Scopes trial was basically when the battle with evolution being taught in school started. I am on a time crunch or I would go into more detail. But this could be an idea for a future blog idea.

“But we are learning that it is foolish to say that we can be wholly devoted to Jesus Christ in the private sphere but we must not disturb the status quo in the public sphere. We must even be involved when our world becomes intolerant of common sense. We must work both within the church and outside of it to influence the debate.”

We cannot continue to be Christians on Sunday and back to someone else Monday-Saturday. I am not saying I am not like this because I can work on this a lot! I’m not sure if I had heard this somewhere or heard someone say this term but we also need to stop being “Fair weather Christians”. For example, if something good happens we praise God, but when something bad happens we curse God or vise versa. We need to praise God in good times and bad times.

“The fact that divorce continues rampant despite a spate of books on love, marriage, and the family, is a poignant reminder that our battle is not one of information, but transformation. Unless the heart is changed by the power of the gospel, we will never be the witness we should be to the world around us. We must be reminded that we can only move forward on our knees and in repentance and faith.”

“In its strong condemnation of homosexuality, the church has failed to teach parents that children must not only be reared but also understood. There is nothing wrong with a boy being effeminate; this, however, is not an indication that he was born a homosexual. The homosexual desires themselves are the result of environmental factors and a culture that insists that everyone has to be sexually active and “discover their gender.” It might well be that such a young person will also be attracted to the opposite sex and discover that the struggles of puberty are a passing phase.”

“There are two dangers we must avoid at this hour. The first is to retreat from the fay because we believe we can’t stop the tide of same-sex marriage legalization, and thus “whatever will be will be”. The second danger we must avoid is to become so involved in our same sex marriage debate that we forget that the primary message we have for the world is that Jesus died on the cross for sinners. We are to be agents of grace, mercy, and forgiveness in a harsh and cruel world. We cannot let our cultural revolution obscure our primary calling. We must exercise that calling within the context of our cultural debate.”

“There is, in my opinion, only one answer: Every single Christian must become an activist, assuming the delicate task of taking a firm but loving stand on the issues and yet presenting the spiritual healing of Christ to a society afflicted with a disease called sin.”

“We cannot be followers of Christ and consider our reputation to be of more value than standing for the Christ who has saved us. We cannot be intimidated by frivolous lawsuits, harassment on the job, or even death threats. The lordship of Christ means just that: He is our one and only Lord”

“A mind focused on truth is powerful only when combined with a changed heart.”

By far one of the best quotes I have ever read. 

“However, we must realize that ultimately the same sex marriage debate is not a matter comply of politics, nor a matter of judicial activism. At root is the spiritual emptiness of a nation that has turned from God and lost its way.”

“Our responsibility is to stand for Christ, witnessing to His grace and power. Our lives should rectify the false notions that persist about Him. Those of us who have experienced Christ’s healing must bring His power to a society that has concluded that no cure for its ills exists. Our neighbors have to know that we are not their enemies, but their truest friends.”

Notes on The Truth about Same Sex Marriage by Erwin W. Lutzer chapter 4: We Must Resist The Pressure

 

“The pressure to affirm same sex marriages is relentless. We hear it from the media, from politicians, and from the gays themselves who plead with us to see their point: They also are human beings with sexual desires; it would be unfair for some people to express those desires while others are forbidden to do so. And what human being-family members or otherwise-has the right to deny them equal status in matters of vocation and marriage?”

“In this chapter we will consider many of the specific arguments in favor of homosexual relationships and, therefore, same sex marriage. We will explore how some of today’s leading research invalidates those arguments. And, in the process, we will, I hope, provide God’s people a way to resist the relentless drip-drip and in response, lovingly, truthfully, and convincingly speak.”

“There is a difference between those genes that make up the body and those genes that influence our desires and predispositions”.

“But behavioral genetics has produced abundant evidence of genetic influences that clearly do not render human choice irrelevant.”

“We are responsible for our behavior even if it is genetically motivated. Surely homosexuals don’t want to say that their genes have rendered them helpless robots, incapable of human choice about their behavior. They would want to affirm, I think, that they are moral agents who should be held accountable for their lifestyle. In other words, no matter what influence our genetic makeup has on us, we cannot use this as an excuse for a lack of accountability and responsibility.”

“So what do we do if we find a kleptomaniac gene, a pedophile gene, or an alcoholic gene? Even if we argue that we are born with certain predispositions, we still have human responsibility for our lifestyles and actions. Ever since the fall in Eden, we all have a predisposition to sin. These fallen desires (often referred to as lusts in Scripture) must be channeled, directed, and often denied the fulfillment they crave.”

Basically everyone needs to have self-control to handle their urges and to not just act on a strong feeling.

“And in the Bible, it is clear that we have an obligation to be sexually chaste if we are not married and sexually faithful if we are. We cannot argue that our desires are “from God” and therefore worthy of fulfillment.”

“Regardless of our sexual desires, whether genetic or acquired, we are creatures created with the ability to choose, and we are held accountable to God for those choices. We cannot argue that the Devil or our genes “made us do it””

“So can homosexuals change? There is plenty of evidence to suggest that the answer is yes, given the thousands of former homosexuals who give testimony that they have been changed. Organizations such as Exodus International have for years shared real-life testimonies of those who have left the lifestyle and have even had their desires transformed, and are now living in heterosexual marriage.”

“Anyone acquainted with the New Testament has read Paul’s words, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor HOMOSEXUAL offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) Several important points must be made about this passage: First, that all the sexual sins that we have in our culture were rampant in ancient Corinth; also present were the contemporary sins of slander, thievery, and greed. Second, we learn that the gospel changed these people. A gospel that does not change the basic aspirations of the human heart is no gospel at all. However, is Paul saying that homosexuals can be changed into heterosexuals? He does not say that Christ took these people who lived the homosexual lifestyle and transformed their sexual desires so that now they could be happily married. He simply says, “And that is what some of you were”. And now they are washed, sanctified, and justified. What Paul might have meant was that these homosexuals now lived their lives in the power of the Holy Spirit and were committed to a life of chastity.”

“It is one thing to say that we believe in civil rights for all regardless of one’s skin color. It is quite another to say that we believe in civil rights for all regardless of one’s behavior.”

Seems like, they are just pulling straws out of a hat to try to get their way. People cannot change the fact that they were born with light or dark skin. People however can change their sexual orientation. So to compare it to the Black civil rights movement is just insane.

“Some gay Christians claim they can be in an active homosexual relationship with God’s approval. True? No. Those who say that they can be in a homosexual relationship with God’s approval deceive themselves. They forget that God’s desire for us is costly discipleship that finds fulfillment whether or not we are involved in an intimate sexual relationship. This message is lost in the “Christian gay affirming literature.”

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows the please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life (Galatians 6:7-8)

For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person- such a man is an idolater- has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them (Ephesians 5:5-7)

Do not be deceived:  Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindles will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

We must resist the pressure to accept the arguments made for same sex marriages heard daily on television and read in the newspapers. We must carefully expose the disinformation that has become so much a part of this debate. In fact, we as a church must become involved in the struggle to keep marriage according to God’s intended program. To this task we now turn.”

 

Notes on The Truth about Same-Sex Marriage by Erwin W. Lutzer chapter 3: We Must Remember The Children

 

 

“Since every part of us is tainted with sin, our consciences are not always reliable, and we can also turn a deaf ear to what we know is right. Yet we are all born with a moral compass that lets us know that we are obligated to one another and answerable to a higher power. Through both the conscience and creation, humankind knows that there is a superior moral law.”

Sin is that little voice we hear in our head that says “go on and do it, it isn’t going to hurt anyone”, even though we know something is wrong, we still do it because of sin.

“For the very anatomy of a man and a woman tells us that these two genders were meant for one another.”

I don’t think this needs much explaining lol

“Of course the gay community is quick to say that there are “no adverse effects” if a child would be reared by two mommies or two daddies. But keep in mind that the research in this area is often done by those who are proponents of such arrangements.”

Can’t have anyone prove them wrong, so they make sure no matter what the research will go in their favor. 

“Gay marriage might well change society’s entire concept of parenthood. Because gay couples cannot produce children on their own, hopeful parents are seeking to rent wombs and deny children the right to know their biological parents.”

“We all know that a daughter raised in a strong marriage will know what to look for in a man and be better able to resist those who want to take advantage of her sexually. Lesbian mothers are saying that a father is irrelevant to parenting; homosexual fathers say that a mother is irrelevant to parenting. But God says both a mother and a father are relevant to parenting. Is anyone serious in suggesting that two men can take the place of a mother’s love, or two women can equal a dad?”

“God intended that every child have a mother and a father who are an example of commitment, caring, and love. Not only is such a child given a sense of security, but he or she also sees femininity and masculinity modeled in a complementary relationship. Of course, in our world with rampant divorce, immorality, and the redefinition of the family, this ideal is becoming a memory. However-and this is important-we must work toward the ideal even though we know we shall not achieve it, rather than work against it, defying the Designer who made us all.”

“Tammy Bruce believes the reason these ideas are widely accepted is that “sexualizing children”, as she calls it, guarantees control of the culture for future generations. She writes, “It also promises sex-addicted future consumers on which the porn industry relies. By destroying those lives, they strike the final blow to family, faith, tradition, decency, and judgment.”

This is just sickening to know that they plan to “attack” children in such a way just to get them to go against God and destroying family, faith, tradition, decency, and judgement.

“Unless we return to God in repentance, we can expect the unthinkable to become thinkable before eyes. Indeed, it already has.”

“When we speak of the “sanctity of marriage,” this is not just a pious phrase; it is the essence of life,  the environment in which values are formed, and future generations are guided.”

Read this next one with serious thought because this IS happening now.

“Listen to what God has to say to a nation that has turned from Him.

Your sons and daughters will be given to another nation, and you will wear out your eyes watching for them day after day, powerless to life a hand…You will have sons and daughters but you will not keep them, because they will go into captivity….Because you did not serve the Lord your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, therefore in hunger and thirst , in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the Lord sends against you. He will put an iron yoke on your neck until he has destroyed you” (Deuteronomy 28:32, 41, 47-48)”

Whenever I read this part I get chills up my spine. It’s time to take this country back to God’s country!

“When we turn from the Lord, he does not fight for us, but allows us to be distressed by those who oppose us. The result is ruptured relationships-children suffering, growing up without their parents-and the inability to do anything about it.”

“We have blithely tolerated divorce; we have allowed the media to steal the hearts of our children; we have followed materialism and pleasure. In these and a dozen other ways we have drunk greedily from the fountains of the world. Now we are beginning to reap the whirlwind. Yes, God is there for us, but only if we humble ourselves and repent in this critical hour. If not, the fate of Israel’s families might be that of our own.”

Notes on The Truth About Gay Marriage chapter 2: We Must Consult The Designer’s Manual

 

 

“Why did God create marriage? The Genesis account of creation gives us the best understanding of what we know about marriage, its meaning and purpose, and what happens when we violate the divine pattern. If we can discern what the Designer had in mind, we are better able to understand what is at stake in our same sex marriage debate. In the process, we’ll discover that a biblical view of sexuality explains the brokenness in our culture as no other book on sex or marriage. Here at last we have answers that ring true to what we know about gender and diversity.”

“When God created Eve out of Adam’s flesh, He made a powerful statement about our sexuality. God separated femininity out of masculinity, forming two separate people. With this separation came a powerful implanted desire in the male and the female to be reunited in an intimate oneness.”

God created us this way so that men and women could complete each other with emotional, and physical needs.

“God gave Adam and Eve different characteristics. Men tend to be aggressive and depend upon a rational analysis of life’s problems. Women have a strong sense of intuition, basic trust, and sensitivity. Obviously, these are generalizations and there is overlapping. The point is simply that both genders mirror different aspects of God on earth.”

“Paul (from his letter to the Corinthians) says that wives should submit to their husbands, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23). To those women who believe such submission is victimization, and to husbands who misuse this principle, Paul continues, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26). We should not be surprised that Paul ends this section by quoting Genesis, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31)”

“Every sexual relationship apart from the man/woman relationship in marriage can be called an alien bond; this is, a bond that violates the biblical boundaries. Perhaps one of the most helpful passages in the New Testament regarding the nature of sexuality is found in Paul’s words to the Corinthian church. “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh'” (1 Corinthians 6:15-16). Incredibly, Paul says that when a man has sex with a prostitute; that is, sex without a commitment, sex without a hint of mutual respect or caring-in a relationship based on the exploitation of raw lust-even then “the two will become one flesh.” Sex binds two people together not just physically, but also in the soul and spirit even apart from marriage.”

“When the first sexual experience (or subsequent ones) occurs outside the marriage covenant, the sexual bond can be so powerful that it can even determine the direction of the person’s sexual orientation. A boy recruited by an older homosexual may initially hate the experience, but because sex binds two people together, he may begin to feel a sense of security and fulfillment within this relationship. Soon he seeks out other partners, not because he was born a homosexual, but because his initial experiences were so stamped upon his soul that he now follows the lead of his newly awakened desires. This also explains why a young woman may marry a man with whom she has slept even though he may be abusive. His soul is indelibly imprinted on her mind and heart, and she feels an obligation to become his wife. Because of sex, he also may have incredible power over her. He may mistreat her, but she will usually return to him. Even if the relationship ends, she will find it difficult to put him out of her mind. Understandably, the next step is to begin the cycle of promiscuity, hoping to find that elusive meaningful connection which will finally satisfy.”

“Same sex marriages fall outside the boundaries of a one man, one woman relationship, and so are alien bonds, intruders that desecrate the body and pollute the soul. When humans try to use sex to embrace the spiritual part of themselves and ignore God’s design, they always come up short. Of necessity all alien bonds are cut off from God’s intentions and thus violate the original marriage charter. The spiritual dimension of the relationship is destroyed.” 

“To affirm same sex marriages is to take one more step to cut sex off from its God blessed intention of mirroring plurality and unity. In short, to affirm same sex marriages is to toss aside the Owner’s Manual, intent on finding our own way, at any cost. With it we add more brokenness to our brave new world of social experimentation. The Bible gives several purposes for sex. One is to mirror unity in diversity; another is pleasure. But high on the list is that children might be born into an environment where they can grow and flourish as men and women. God intended that as a result of the loving union of the one man, one woman relationship, children would be born into an atmosphere of security, where both genders model teamwork and commitment. It is to the children we turn now.”

Notes on The Resolution for Men chapter 15: Resolve To Leave A Legacy

 

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

“What would happen if men all over the world were not only to commit to the Resolution but to live it out long-term?  What would happen if millions of children could see God transform their fathers into tender, loving dads and powerful, spiritual warriors who walk in integrity and leave an eternal legacy? What would it do in the hearts of our sons and daughters? What would it do for future generations? We have written this book because we want to join God in turning the hearts of fathers back to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.”

“We have also challenged you to be a chain breaker, a prayer warrior, a justice fighter, and a spiritual mentor-so that your children and grandchildren, as well as the other men around you, will follow your example. Yes, they must decide for themselves. But when your children feel the love of God flowing through your heart into theirs, when they hear the Word of God boldly pouring from your lips, and when they see the power of God at work through your changed life and answered prayer, they will be drawn to know, love, and follow the God of their father. This is your legacy.”

“He knows you can’t keep His commands. You can’t love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. You can’t really love your neighbor  as yourself. You can’t love your wife with a Christlike love or train up your children to be might on the earth. You will break all ten of the Ten Commandments, either in action or in your heart, if left to fend for yourself.”

“Jesus wants us to give him all that we are and all that we have for all of our lives. He is not a halfhearted God who is pleased with a halfhearted sacrifice. He want total, lifelong surrender from you. This is a picture of what true lordship looks like- when there is nothing He could tell you to do that you would say no to. Otherwise he is not your Lord.”

“Consider these seven reason why you should go beyond belief, beyond merely following Jesus, and wholeheartedly surrender to His lordship:

1. He already owns you.
2. You owe Him a debt of love.
3. You can’t handle life on your own.
4. He can make you happier than you can make yourself.
5. He has your entire life already planned out.
6. You will be judged by Him one day.
7. He deserves you.”

“So with these seven things in mind, you must ask yourself if there is any reason why you will not surrender all that you are and all that you have to the lordship of Jesus Christ? Yes, people will misunderstand you for doing this. They will mock and marginalize you. They may even attack and persecute you for the name of Christ. But that won’t matter-because it’s not about you. Your life is not yours anymore. If you are Christ’s, you are hidden in God.”

“We need an army of men like Nehemiah who will see the desperate needs of the nation and call the men of God to rise up and fight for their marriages, their children, and the next generation. Men who will not only fight injustice and rail against the status quo, but will actively rebuild our families, our churches, and our nations for the glory of God.”

“And most of all, we need a new generation of men like Jesus Christ, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who say to God, “Not my will, but Yours be done!” And at the end of their lives say, “Father, I glorified You on the earth and I have completed the work you gave me to do.” By God’s grace, we can each become that kind of man. A faithful man of Resolution.”

Courageous Challenge

Commit alone or with a group of others to be a man of Resolution. Sign your own Resolution print during a special ceremony with your family. (Professionally produced prints are available at courageousresources.com or dayspring.com)

Memory Verse

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

Notes on The Resolution for Men chapter 14: Resolve To Be Found Faithful

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word and do his will.

“Every time you brag, show off, or fish for praise, you actually dishonor yourself. King Solomon said, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2)”

“So don’t settle for trophies that will only collect dust and be soon forgotten. Don’t settle for the approval of men when you could gain the approval of God. You have one life to live. And living it for yourself is futile. True fulfillment comes only by gratefully giving God the glory He deserves, knowing that He is the Source of all good things.”

“If you’re serious about “honoring God” -as the first part of this resolution point says- then lead your heart away from the vain and toward the eternal. Fall out of love with this world and deeply in love with the Lord. Whether you “eat or drink of whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31)”

“You may be new to church. Or you may have been burned by so-called Christians in the past. If so, you’re in good company because Jesus’ main enemies were the religious, hypocritical “churchgoers” of his day. They were the ones who organized his betrayal and ultimate Crucifixion.”

“Here are four keys to being successful in how you plug into a church:

1. Show up and get involved.
2. Fix your eyes on Jesus, not on people.
3. Be a blessing, not dead weight.
4. Finally, share life with other believers.

“What about you? Do you believe the Bible is just the word of men or truly the Word of God? the answer to this one question will make a monumental difference in the direction of the rest of  your life and in the generations that will follow you.”

“We must teach our children to read, obey, and apply the Word of God to their lives. This generation is largely biblically illiterate. They think because they can quote John 3:16 and have gone to church for years that they think biblically. But if they are not in the Word constantly, obeying it increasingly, and seeking God daily, they are only deceiving themselves. The discipleship mandate is that we be doers  of the Word. We let God’s Word determine how we think, speak, and live in every area of our lives. We let it mold us into the image of Christ.”

“So rise up, man of resolution! Live your life to draw attention and gratitude to the Lord Himself and Him alone. Pour your heart into His people and receive them as your family of faith and mutual support. Stay in the Word  and let it renew your mind and transform your life. And before you know it, you’ll be doing His will. Not because you have to, but because you’ll joyfully want to. This is living!”

Courageous Challenge

Make a commitment to attend church and a small Bible study group every week for the next month.

Memory Verse

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11)

Notes on The Resolution for Men chapter 13: Resolve To Live With Integrity

 

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

“Failure is a powerful teacher. It’s always better to learn from counsel or someone else’s mistakes, but the reality is, we are all going to “stumble in many ways” throughout our lives (James 3:2). And how we respond when it happens is the real test, for those responses to failure will either make us stronger or further damage our relationship with others and with God.”

“Repentance is transformational. It can mark the difference between heaven or hell, joy or sorrow, victory or defeat. To repent basically means to turn away from sin and turn back to God. From self-rule to Christ-rule. From darkness to light. It’s putting God first in your life and removing anything that keeps you from walking intimately with Him. It’s conviction leading to confession, which brings cleansing leading to communion.”

“Lying is not wrong just because it ruins our trust but because God is truth and never lies. It is the betrayal of who he is.. Murder not only stops a beating heart but is contrary to the One who is life and love and made us in his image. Sexual immorality is not wrong simply because it leads to heartache, unwanted pregnancy, and disease but because God is holy and calls us all to lovingly reflect his faithfulness and purity.”

“This is ultimately why sin has such major consequences. This is why “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Sin can be pleasurable for a few minutes, but if leaves us with a long term list of major problems:

• Spiritually-sin separates us from God and makes us His enemies (Colossians 1:21-22)
• Emotionally-sin brings anger, bitterness, fear, worry, and guilt (Proverbs 10:19-20
• Morally-sin makes worthless things seem valuable in our lives, and vice versa (Proverbs 5:8-14)
• Personally-sin enslaves and destroys us (John 8:34)
• Ministerially-sin can disqualify us from effective service to God (1 Corinthians 9:27)
• Internally-sin poisons our hearts so we quit loving others (2 Timothy 3:2-4)
• Relationally-sin brings brokenness and pain to our relationships (Proverbs 14:34)
• Historically-sin caused the Son of God to die a brutal death for us (Romans 5:8)
• Eternally-sin offends God and makes us wholly unfit for heaven (Matthew 13:40-43)”

“Sin includes our everyday struggles with pride, self-righteousness, greed, anger, bitterness, materialism, lust, and lies-even those times when we just don’t do what we’re supposed to do. We need to view sin-all sin, our sin- the way God views it. Foul. Dirty. Hateful. Dark. Unholy. Ungodly. Unclean. Filthy. Spiritual leprosy that must be cleansed.”

“There is too much at stake for us not to take integrity seriously. It is for this reason that we end this chapter challenging you to “be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). Resolve to learn from your mistakes, repent of your sings, and walk in integrity before God.”

Courageous Challenge

Write out a list of the top five sins that keep entangling you in your life, and begin praying for God to give you the grace to fully repent of each one.

Memory Verse

Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord. (Acts 3:19)